I'd wear matching sweaters with you
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
