i'm lost and i look like a hooker
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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