Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
it glows. i had to have it.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
