I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
