Joe is yelling at the trees again.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
