I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
