Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
