Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Its about making memories worth repressing
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Randomize
