that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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