just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
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