OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
There was a lot of him and a little penis
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
