I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
