I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
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