I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
