That reminds me...we need to get swords
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
