Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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