More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Randomize
