In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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