How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
My pussy is not your playground.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
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Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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