So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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