I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I looked at my own cervix.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
