Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
