I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
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