She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
My vagina is very pro this idea
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