Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize