i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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