ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize