You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
