Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
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