So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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