when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
