Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
