me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
