we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
