so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
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