I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss vodka workout Fridays
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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