You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
how can u be prego again
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
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