So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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