your thong is hanging out like whoa
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
