Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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