It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Randomize
