Midget sex pt 2 tonight
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
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