did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
