Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
