i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
