SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
do nipples grow back?
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