It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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