Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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