Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
