Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
