I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
They should really pass out barf bags in church
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize