I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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