He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
