Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
