We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
