I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
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