No stitches, just platelets and will power
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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