i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize