Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
