put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
my being single is dangerous.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
