the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Randomize
