Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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