He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
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