This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Watching her eat just hurts me
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
