I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Randomize
