I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
