why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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