OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
