Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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