I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Randomize
