I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Randomize
